Grief

It’s been a rough couple of days here in Xi’an.  I know that grieving is part of the process and I know that it is healthy but gosh, it is so painful.  Our little gal is grieving and it is heartbreaking.  She is hurting and there is nothing I can do or say to help her.  Yesterday she threw things that we had brought her in a pile and took what she had came with and sat in a corner of our room and sobbed.  She cried off and on for quite a few hours yesterday.  If she saw Dan or I moving towards her to try and comfort her she would turn her back to us or put her hands up to stay away so we sat on our bed and watched her cry.  It was beyond horrible.  I felt helpless.  I finally had to leave our room and go down to the hotel lobby.

 

Today was a little better.  She cried a lot of the day and told our guide she wants to stay in China but late this afternoon there were some smiles and even laughter. 

 

I’ve been through this before with some of our other children but it doesn’t get any easier.  Noelle is also the first of our kids to decide that she doesn’t like me and that is a new one.  Dan was always the bad guy but now it’s me.  I like being the good guy much better.

 

We need your prayers.  Tomorrow we are going to her orphanage.  I’m more than  nervous about it but I know that we need to go.

 

Please pray:

For our little gal….she is so hurting right now. 

For Dan and I…the doubts are creeping in and they need to go away.

For me...I find myself taking her not liking me personally. 

For tomorrow…let it be a good visit and provide Noelle with some closure and or a little more peace.

For Friday…we leave her province.  She will get on her first airplane and we head to Guangzhou for the second half of our trip.  This comes a day after her orphanage trip and I’m worried about how emotionally fragile she could be.